I’m Exhausted – And I’m Not Stopping

I’m exhausted, 2016… and it is your fault.

I’m exhausted by the constant “Mights” and “Maybes” happening throughout you: ‘there “might” be work this week’, ‘[friend/friends] “might” be at [insert event] tomorrow’, ‘”maybe” I’ll do this this or that, depending on money or transportation’. I’m too tired to decipher “mights” and “maybes” any more, and I’m tired of using them myself. A “maybe” or “might” is a “no”, unless there is a reason – a very good reason – given for it, and not one given at the last minute.

I’m exhausted by your U.S. Presidential Race cycle:
I am 40 shades of exhausted from the avalanche of ignorance coming from Donald Trump and his more vocal supporters.
I’m exhausted from hearing and reading all of the constant whining from the Millennial supporters of Bernie Sanders. “The California Primary was rigged!” “The Nevada Primary was rigged!” “The Liberal media is biased against Sanders!” The Media is against him, the Republicans, Hilary Clinton, the Justice Department, the WWE, Triple H are all against him…. ENOUGH! Sanders LOST.

I’m exhausted from the continued hidden-in-plain-sight, race-based complaints from a large chunk of Republicans (residing in the 30-55 year old bracket) that started in November 2008. Not Conservatives: Republicans. It’s 2016: the president still hasn’t “taken your guns”; he didn’t throw out the Second Amendment; he still isn’t from Kenya; he didn’t “wreck the country”. Grow up; end the 8-year temper tantrums.

I cannot blame you solely for this, 2016, but I’m exhausted from having to stretch pennies that I don’t always have, just to get by each week. 2015, you take a large chunk of that blame, too! Approximately $8,700 was earned at my main job, between January 1st, 2015 and today. 

I am absolutely exhausted from searching job site after job site, LinkedIn to CareerBuilder, for internships, co-ops, or a 2nd job. 23 applications – including 5 with #GE, 4 with #Humana, and 3 with #UPS (who hasn’t answered back for any of them, including a “pre-screening”) – since late February is disheartening and tiresome, especially when 17 of them end with the always-fun phrase “we regret to inform you that…”. 

I’m exhausted from seeing stories about police officers being shot.

I’m exhausted from seeing story after story, article after article, about Black men being shot by police. 

I’m exhausted from seeing story after story, article after article, about a Black person being killed by another Black person. Have we, Black Community, learned NOTHING, after all of this time? 

I’m exhausted from trying to explain that “Stop shooting Black Men and profiling Middle Easterners, Police!” does not equal “I hate the police!”. If you can’t understand that criticizing the police can happen alongside supporting and respecting those who wear that police uniform, then I don’t know what else to tell ya, other than you are wearing on my patience.

I’m also exhausted from seeing people, every time a Black man is shot by police, justifying it with a dredged-up-from-deep-in-the-Internet story about a White man also being shot by police. There is not a White person on this planet who will ever get stopped by police SOLELY because of his race. Spare me the rebuttals, spare me the “have YOU ever been stopped by police?” comments: I’ve have it happened twice while walking, a third time while a passenger in a car, all 3 via profiling.

I cannot accurately describe how exhausting it is to try and time buses to get around town. it is about as exhausting as turning down hangouts, get-togethers, even job shifts, because one either can’t get home from it, can’t afford it, or both.

The ISIS/ISIL subject is exhausting, particularly the misguided belief that ISIS speaks for ALL Muslims. The bombing last week, and the gun attack yesterday, in Bangladesh – the 3rd largest Muslim-majority country in the world, the 4th largest Muslim population in the world – should be the latest sign that ISIS speaks only for ISIS.

I am physically and mentally exhausted from the rash of foot-related issues that have flared up: another bout of Plantar Fasciitis, Capsulitis (especially in my right foot), and right ankle pain.


I will fight this exhaustion, 2016.

I won’t kid myself by saying “I’ll take a vacation”; unless I decide to play the Lottery and hit at least 5 numbers on Powerball or Mega Millions, a true vacation won’t happen this year.

Instead, I’ll start by paraphrasing a good friend and co-worker from Target: “F a bunch of ISIS.”

I will not give up a positive outlook, no matter how gray things appear. Social media “rage posts” very rarely do any good, especially if those posts are parroting what the ‘experts’ say or are used to get “likes”. Instead, if and when I can, I will continue to try to put a smile on someone’s face, make them a chuckle or laugh, or make them feel better than they did. 

I can’t do much about the Black-on-Black killings in town. I can, however, make people aware that the West End, and parts of the South End, aren’t the Thunderdome-esque areas that the majority of the city thinks they are. This is a Facebook thing – I can keep re-posting and sharing stories that involve things like the cleaning up of Chickasaw Park.

I am glad that the Olympics start in 4 weeks, because that will almost completely wash away the political crap from my TV and, hopefully, my News Feed on Facebook.

The job search and the job hours: surprisingly, there’s not much stress involved, just insane exhaustion and annoyance. I have to reel in my patience with the job search and make the most of whatever hours trickle down the pipe for work.

Reading, Music, turning off the TV when political stories come on, playing WoW, Team Trivia, Game Night – just some of the options for pushing back exhaustion. Positivity, the Olympics, whatever it takes… you won’t completely exhaust me, 2016.

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