“Short Circuits”: Throat-Slash! Oh, the HUMANITY!

There are some… odd rules in sports, written and unwritten, regarding celebrations.

In baseball, if you hit a Home Run and you do more than a fist pump, chances are that you will get hit with a pitch in your next at bat. The same may happen if you stand and watch the ball go over the fence/wall. You were “showing up the pitcher”. Idiotic.

In the NFL, spiking the ball after a Touchdown is ok, sometimes encouraged. Short-spiking the ball after a big first down is “Unsportsmanlike Conduct: Delay of Game” – a 5 or 15 yard penalty (see Ezekiel Elliot, in last week’s Dallas-Philadelphia game).

The one that bugs me the most, even more than those baseball rules, is the throat-slash. All of the major sports leagues, male and female sports, frown upon the throat-slash: “it sends the wrong message to kids.”

Give me a break.

There is not a kid on the planet that would see an athlete do that and think: “Wow! Cam Newton did the throat-slash, so I can do that to people in real life!” We all know that kids are impressionable but… really? Throat-slash is the thing that will cause the downfall of kids?

There are bigger fish to fry in sports (looking at your domestic violence and concussion issues, NFL). What’s next? The Bow and Arrow ‘Heart Shot’ (which also simulates killing)? The Dab (which should go, because it’s a stupid celebration)?

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